dun hate me cause u aint me.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

chalet wasnt amazing, when e appreciation isnt there, when u go early to help w preparation, when u stay over juz for someone, when ur left to entertain urself. left bout 4 in e morn for supper w 3 pals.then fren picked me up drove ard abit. tried to fall asleep at marina south. couldnt do so. drove ard abit more. got home bout 9. knock out.

a little tango w my cam due to extreme boredness. i miss playin volleyball! ask me to join in a game sometime anyone?

the tryin to go to sleep part of the day

ive realized e tremendous amt of pics ive spammed my readers w for e past week. be glad cause it overr.... soon..after salsaaaa tml(have no idea wat im gonna wear thou)..ive had my fun nw its time to work.. life is gonna be all essay writin n exam study tml onwards..like whee!

minahlian
- 6:27 PM

Friday, July 28, 2006

some pre meetin up narcissistic photos, e new food court at wisma which i cant rem e name, mezze bar at mandarin where i had e WORST martini ever(melon martini tasted like motherfu**ing bitter yucki cough syrup tt costs 17 freakin bucks @&#^%%@%@), prata for e 3rd time in e past 5 days and chillout at my place till wee hours in e mornin. life is sweet. juz like e paper prata i had for e first time in my life tt was drenched w condensed milk. heavennn. aaahhhhh.

chalet up next on sat! whee.

salsa on mon!

n hopefully i ll be able to get tt internship at a magazine w e help of a fren!

take note of this guy who can NEVER take a proper pic.

sharon kow who has left for aussie this morn. come back soon la!

@#^$$^#@%%!!~*@&#(%&#

minahlian
- 1:59 PM

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Dinner at NewyorkNewyork (no i did not go back there to see e cute waiter benny!), chillout at ink bar(great live band) n then to Phunk at MS ("Black" Haven where somehow ALL e African Americans were out partyin at this ONE club)

seems like im enjoyin life much much more as a single.. okie..lets back up here.. its not tt im wasnt single for e past, wat 4 months? juz tt i was holdin out for wat i tot would be a great r/s tt would last til my hair was white n my skin was wrinkly n my last tooth was fallin out n.. okie u get e pt..

im stil angry at being treated like crap.. but u know wat.. there s sucha thing called karma.. n hell yeah do i believe in tt.. no SJ i will not be (quote) "like damn suay all e time la". another fren said. "u DUN need men, one day men wil need u.. great person n personality.. cultured w financial power in the future.. woman of character." u know wat.. at tis pt i cant see myself doin somethin great in e near future..but i believe i will.someday. yes.

juz a random fact to gettin to know ven betta- beer does not get ven high. get tt.

couldnt resist flauntin my new much needed hp casing! whee

minahlian
- 1:58 PM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

three frens in one nite makes ven a busy but very happy girl

dinner at sushi tei w darlin sj, supper at newyorknewyork was jas dear n prata at e nearby prata place cum chillout session at my place's outside area w benny boy.

with respect to e last pic.. e 2 free candyfloss were given to us by e damn cute NYNY manager juz cause i asked him bout e candyfloss machine in e restaurant.. jas n i were bettin if he was interested in me or her. n e person he was interested in would give e other a treat a NYNY.. n.... guess wat.... when we left.. he wasnt ard! damn..so i guess neither won e bet huh.. haha. but juz feels gd to be given "special" treatment.. makes a girl feel special.. *grin

Stop falling, Pink

I ain't lookin for a steady thing
I ain't lookin for what love brings
I'm still young and I ain't ready babe
I'm still lookin for some better days
I don't wanna give you everything
I just wanna make you feel things
If you ain't down to give me everything
Just throw it away

Don't assume cuz I'm a woman
That I'll fall in love
Don't expect I'm young and need to be took care of
Don't wanna hear you got what I need
Cuz how would you know before we speak
You've gotta understand my side
I've had a crazy, crazy life
Nobody came along to open up my eyes
You've gotta take what you can get
Don't even bother with my heart
Cuz I get a feeling I won't let it start

Please believe me
I've been down this road and back again
Learned my lesson and it was that love is not my friend
For the day I put my trust in you
Would be the day I say "I do"
Don't expect me just to open up
Maybe I'm just a little scared
Please don't tell me what you think I wanna hear
Oh baby save it, I've heard it all before
There ain't nothin you could say, whoa, to make me change my ways

So stop falling
Stop falling
You know you're falling....for me
Stop falling
Stop falling
Stop falling...for me
You've gotta understand my side
I've had a crazy, crazy life
Nobody came along to open up my eyes
Oh baby, take what you can get
Don't even bother with my heart
I get a feeling I won't let it start

minahlian
- 1:42 PM

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

A half an hour jog was made useless by prata at e 24 hr place nearby.. but juz had to get outta e house.. therefore a fren stayin nearby was kind enuff to accompany me even thou he had to get up at 5 e next day for army..

The part where we were tokin bout my tattoos n if he could see mine

FREN: oh how many tattoos do u have nw?
ME: 2 lor
FREN: can I see? DO U STILL HAVE THEM?

------silence------

n next e part where he insulted me n I threatened to blow iced tea at him thro e straw

FREN: (insults me, cant rem wat it was thou)
ME; shuddup la.. I ll blow u ah!

------silence------

The nite turned outta be pretty damn good la.. he said he could show me an sms tt would make me happy.. n it did actually.. it was an sms I sent him like TWO years ago on my bday thankin him for e bday present which he came to pass me at my place.. n then another on e same day(my bday) but like ONE yr later ..once again thankin him for present.. hmm.. somehow..tt juz spelled sincerity n sweetness..

Sometimes when e nicest things are juz handed to u on a plate but most dun appreciate it juz cause it comes easily.. takin it for granted is a huge factor here.. I try to appreciate pple in my life nw.. I try to see those who are there for me sincerely n wan to be there genuinely.. n I try to identify those who are juz masked w bad n selfish intentions.. but most of e times.. its hard to spot e black hearted buggers..

Looking for love, Johnny Lee

No more looking for love in all the wrong places
looking for love in too many faces
searchin to rise
lookin for traces of wat im dreamin of
hopin to find a fren n a lover
i ll bless e day i discover
another heart
lookin for love

minahlian
- 11:51 AM

Sunday, July 23, 2006

the chain reaction

as cliched as "everythin happens for a reason" may sound.. its actually pretty true.. as much as a non believer as i am in the greater power.. i stil act do believe tt someone somewhere has a plan for each n every one of us..im contridicting myself? hmm..

frens come n frens go.. when jac left for aussie.. in came joyce dear into my life.. nw..i met a new fren recently tt i could juz click so well with.. someone whom, even thou u juz met like 24 hrs ago, u can juz tok to for hrs n stil have loads more to share w e person.. time spent tokin in e backseat of the car was well spent.. dint feel like stayin home so was brought to east coast to enjoy e breeze n then hung out til late into e mornin..

thank u to e frens who was w me yest.. to u for the flowers once again to cheer me up juz cause i sounded bad.. to another for e prata at thompson.. n to another for the beach n quality car time.. thank u.

minahlian
- 3:50 PM

Saturday, July 22, 2006

zoned out

less than 4 hrs of sleep aint doin me no gd at all! after a late late nite yest.. i was too high from all e booze tt i couldn get to sleep til 530.. n got up at 9.. couldnt get back to sleep zone after tt. somehow or rather the booze is stil in my system even thou i pee-ed like upteem times yest..

happy 21th tyler dear.. im sori i got so wasted yest tt u n ur fren hadda take care of me! but stil i hope u enjoyed ur bday..

ive found out tt being in e arms of someone else makes u feel good at tt moment itself.. but after tt when ur home alone in ur dark room.. u juz feel e same fucked feelin all over again..

nevertheless.. thx to manfred for being those shoulders for me yest n for sendin me home even thou u stay sembawang..cab fare muz hav been a bitch.. its not very nice to juz know someone for barely half an hour durin a drinkin game then get so wasted n cant walk str n tt guy has to bring u to e toilet..

gettin high is sucha rush actually..to a certain extend of cos.. it sux when u reach e pukin pt..i hope u feel betta adrienne dear.. but e moments before tt act makes u feel free..im not encouragin drinkin.. but it does feel pretty damn gd to be feel high n not in control n juz happy n gigglin n shit..

concert tonite then its off to momo.. im so gonna like die seriously.. but well.. all in e name of fun n a gd time..im out!

minahlian
- 11:18 AM

Ultimate Betrayal

when it slaps u in e face so hard.. u lose all feelin.. u go all numb.. u feel the pain.. u feel the hurt.. u feel every single emotion there is to feel.. u cry.. u laugh.. u drink.. u joke.. u act.. u wonder.. u ask.. u ponder.. u try.. but in e end..it juz doesnt matter anymore.. because.. its e ultimate betrayal..

u feel used.. u feel like trash.. u feel like crap.. u feel fucked.. u feel trampy.. u feel useless.. u feel like rubbish.. u feel worthless... u feel shitty.. u feel pissed..

u wonder y does it always happen to me? i tot e last 2 lessons were enuff for me to learn? i tot i deserve betta.. i tot ... but thinkin doenst work..

trust.. a word tt juz lost all its meaning.. replaced by words like betrayed.. used.. pain.. pointless.. hurt..

y do u do this to me when u know wat my past r/s was like.. u juz like havin someone to make use of huh.. to use when u hav no frens to go out w.. when ur bored.. juz because proximity is tt near doesnt give u a damn excuse to make use n lie to pple like tt..even as a fren.. it makes u lower then low.. i hope u see e jerk n asshole tt u are.. n tt i nv saw in u.. tt u hid so well.. burn in hell pls thank u..ur not worth it..not anymore.. ur value to me is juz trash nw.

e worst kind of pple are those tt try to be so damn nice to everyone but act they hurt e one person tt really cares for them tt much because they think tt person is always gonna be there no matter wat.. guys.. nv ever play e field n try to see which girl is e best candidate n assume e other girls r okie w ur lyin n cheatin.. girls.. dun ever be blinded wat u think could be love or could work out to somethin great.. when somethin in u clicks n tel u somethin is wrong.. ur usually rite.. n take tt inner advice

when a guy tels u stupid reasons why he cant be w u nw.. it usually juz translates to? HE'S JUZ NOT TT INTO U!! n get tt line girls!

minahlian
- 4:23 AM

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

juz a random post.

a gf of mine mentioned few weeks back tt she dint allow her current bf to call her by e little pet name tt her ex used to cal her by.. she said tt represented a piece of her past n tt it felt weird for her current bf to use e nickname her ex used on her.. tt wasn really a huge issue to me before, i was after all single for 4 yrs before my ex..but nw when ur gettin outta an old r/s n gettin into a new one.. it kinda makes some sense wat she said.. i mean.. i wouldn wana cal my bf by e name tt his ex used to address him.. it would bring her picture btw us each time i do it.. n i def wouldn wan him to cal me by e pet name my ex used to address me.. tt would seem.. somehow.. juz weird..

i dunno if most pple have tt mentality.. i mean after all there aint that many lovey dovey nicknames out there if u think bout it..a repetition would be highly plausible.. but how does one actually not have e image of e ex-es poppin up each time u address each other.. i have no damn idea.. to each his own i guess..

minahlian
- 6:06 PM

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Happy 21th darling Rad dearie!!

finally a woman and lookin hotter than ever darlin.. even thou we may not be as close as we used to be; with me goin over to ur place all the time to play crash bandicoot n tt cool fightin game.. i wan u to know tt i stil rem u okie n tt im always here.. uve always been e silent listener, one tt is always there when pple need u.but u nv seem to tel pple ur prob. n yes diff pple hav diff ways of dealin w issues.. but if u know tt if u ever need to juz rant.. u know my no.!

they say frens come n go, but u betta stay rite here with me.

yest was a weird slow montonous day.. drinkin dint feel e same, neither did a long bike ride feel e same.. everythin was juz toned down n slack.. n juz so u know neighbor.. im bruised at e butt bone thx to ur bike.. haha..gettin home at 7 in e morn isnt a gd thing when u run into ur grandfather who is gettin ready to go for a walk.. its always e same silence and awkwardness when i wash up to get ready for bed n he carries on his routine as if i wasnt there.. i guess its called "close one eye better"..

Have u ever
looked in the mirror smiling
n see tt reflection tt aint so pretty
starin rite back at u
have u ever
laughed so loud at a joke
but tt laughter tt rings back at u
is eerily hollow
have u ever
let someone hold ur hand
but in actual fact u dun feel
the warmt tt is supposed to be there
have u ever
done some wrong to someone
and then regretted afterwards
onli to find out its too late for sorries
have u ever
tried hard to do somethin rite
but then e result slaps u back in e face
so hard tt retaliation aint an option
have u ever
needed tt fren whom u care so much for
onli to find tt because of differences u cant accept
u lose possibly e greatest fren
have u ever
had to feel wanted by someone
tt u try so hard but
u stil fail in the end
i have.
life for u in its raw-rest form.

minahlian
- 4:19 PM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

what happens if..

if a person u deem a very close fren decides to do somethin u think is not really right.. n somethin juz clicks in u tt it is wrong..but when u tel her ur honest opinion its gonna hurt both of u n possibly e closest frenship u ever had but u juz say it anyway cause u juz wan her to know wats she becoming.. even thou she may not think e same .. u hope tt she will see e situation.. uve been thro e same situation before n even thou she says she will not fall into tt same hole..u know tt uve said e exact same thing but IT happened anyways.. then, wat can u possibly do?

i really hav no ans to tt.. im at tt pt where i alrdy did tel tt person my honest n hurtful opinion bout wat i think she is becomin.. she may not think its true.. but if she thinks wat she is doin is okie n deemed rite.. then y e doubt to cal me n ask if she should go ahead w it? i do care.. n maybe i care too much to a pt tt i dun wan her to go thro e same shit i went thro cause it hurt so bad.. but i guess i juz did wat i could.. n i can onli wait n see wat happens..

sometimes its juz hard to care too much bout someone n want so much to help tt person thro watever he or she is goin thro.. but when u cant.. u juz hafta let go n let him or her learn n experience for himself /herself.. my dad did not interfer when i was datin a malay 6 months ago n when i was e third party in tt situation.. he let me learn for myself wat was wat.. n i did.. a huge lesson learnt indeed.

minahlian
- 10:47 PM

the masquerade

being sick somehow makes one starved for human affection even more than if one was well.. somehow we tend to want pple to ask if we re alright.. want pple to offer to bring us to e doc.. want pple to show tt they do care.. want pple to check up on us if we re feelin betta.. im glad to say i have like 2 frens who r genuinely concerned.. im considered lucky in fact to have 2.. because even if u hav juz 1 fren who genuinely cares.. tt s gd enuff really..

take a look ard u n see how many pple u deem as frens REALLY do care.. n by REALLY i mean genuinely n sincerely without any doubt tt they would be e one/s tt w cry w u n cel w u.. i dare say tt no. wouldn go pass e middle finger if u start e count up from ur thumb..

sometimes when we want to care about pple tt we think r worth it..they do somethin or rather do not do anythin tt shows tt they genuinely wan us to be there.. i learnt yest in american politics tt something tt does not happen is as impt to note as somethin tt does happen.. i think it was e theory of Shelock Holmes when he was investigatin a robbery..he solved it by using e concept of "the dog tt did not bark", it was clear tt e robber= owner of e dog tt did not bark..if no action is reciprocated, forget it..

i think when u wan to care n b involved in someone else's life n they dun giva damn bout u.. n it makes u feel fucked as a result of tt.. u juz hafta not giva shit n let them be.. u may nv hafta see them ever again when u leave sch or leave tt job or move house or watever..ultimately if they dun wan to be involved in ur life as much as u wan to be in theirs.. its a one way thing.. n juz like u cant clap w one hand.. e r/s will not work.. its disappointin but there s nothin much u can do bout wat e other party's decision..

minahlian
- 12:17 PM

Monday, July 10, 2006

restaurant/bar/pub/club waitress for one nite

a fren's boss at attica needed help for one nite for e world cup finals screenin, therefore i took up e challenge n went ahead w it.. i say challenge because firstly i had to convince my family tt i was gonna be safe workin from 9pm to 4am which they deem as unhealthy n unsafe timin.. then it was a challenge for me to deal with memorizin drinks, takin orders, cashin it, collectin e rite orders, gettin them to e rite customers n balancin e drinks amist e sweaty,writhing bodies.. then a challenge to get my ass outta bed for sch at 2pm e followin day..BUT e bartenders were really cute.gotta speak w few of them.. haha.. yes juz like ven huh always on e lookout for cute guys..

money wasnst really an issue here.. i juz wanted e experience even if its juz for a nite..i decided tt this was a job or rather a "vacation job" tt is suitable for me once in a while when i decide tt i want to make my way thro sweaty bodies w raging hormones while gettin pushed n sticky w drinks spilled.. respect for these waitresses/bartenders/security.. btw i was workin on e second level where e WC wasnt screenin n it so happened to be gay nite.. regardless to say. it was really an EXPERIENCE i had.. gays are act really polite pple tt juz happened to be wrapped into e huge ball of misconception of wrong-ness tt society banishes them to.. they re pple juz like us.. yes some may look more diff from us, act differently or speak differently but who s to judge.. at least they dare to be different.. "u laugh at me because im different but i laugh at u cause ur all e same".

flu bug going arnd n unfortunately yup i caught it.. nv fail to catch e passing flu bug epidemic each time it comes by..nw im sneezing like a crazy ass, breathin too heavily n feelin too fucked to do anythin.. like study! American politics is really killin me here.. politics is really so not my cuppa tea. haiz..

5 expressions to illustrate e thinkin involved before i took up e job (warning:serious narcissism ahead)

meeting sharon darlin and the all cool-ness work top!

minahlian
- 11:30 PM