
Friday, March 23, 2007
Im scared. really.
Coverin my forehead with fringe used to be a fashion statement for me. Now, it isnt anymore. It has become a muz to do so. Becos i saw my wound yest and as much as i hate to admit. I know deep down inside despite pple tellin me it wont, i KNOW it WILL leave a scar.

For the first time in my life. im scared. or rather i openly admit tt im scared. very infact. afraid of the damned wound leavin a scar for the rest of my life. Afraid of havin to catch up at work or not havin work at all when i go back to the office becos in juz 2 months, ive taken 2 mcs, one at an event where help was needed and this time for one whole week.
im afraid of wat vicious bitches will try to do to wreck my once beautiful r/s. the one r/s where i tot was to be my last.the one r/s i held on to so tightly despite my inferiority. but nw. is this one r/s i protected with my heart n soul worth doin so til the end despite the hurt i feel and may continue to feel if the 3rd parties dun leave the picture. LOVE. is it enuff this time? i hope so.
im afraid of wat im turnin into in order to make my point across. i dun want to turn into a manipulative, scheming slut. i dun. but y do i haf the feelin tt i subconsciously wan to be tt person. becos all along when i was ven. i wasnt gd enuff. or was i? was it all those assholes in my life tt werent gd enuff? i juz dunno anymore.
rite nw. all i can do is to take the backseat and watch the games unfold.
minahlian
- 9:51 AM